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One Of Your 5-a-Day

Chief Zan and his braves at the mouth of the cave
Were feeling mightily famished
He said “this is nice” as he took another slice
Of partially barbecued mammoth
Although he was healthy and strong
Of course, we know now he was wrong
All that grease is deadly for your guts
And those stone tools could give you nasty cuts. It sucks!
Aren’t you glad you live now when we’re told to be nuts?
Try this. It’s new and good for you
Biology says you should never go near it
But marketing says that you do
Try this. Consume. Buy one, get two
It’s not fit for the cat, but forget about that
Because it’s low in fat, and it’s one of your 5-a-day

Who could have seen that the marketing machine
Would distort the truth of science?
Profits are huge, and bribe the government stooge
In a comfortable alliance
They stick all the cash in the vault
And tell us that it’s all our own fault
No, don’t blame us you’re not so fit and sleek!
Why don’t you run a marathon a week? You freak!
And by the way, can we tempt you with this healthier treat?
Try this. It’s new and good for you
Biology says you should never go near it
But marketing says that you do
Try this. Consume. Buy one, get two
It might be blue and be made out of glue
But it’s good for you, and one of your 5-a-day

Here in the lab they are having a stab
At the next healthy food we can play with
They start with a heap of anything cheap
And charge as much as they can get away with
They spend more time designing the package
And figuring how to advertise to the masses
Well, just make sure you draw on lots of stars
With buzz words written in them nice and large, ta da!
Who cares if Chief Zan couldn’t say what they are?
Try this. It’s new and good for you
Biology says you should never go near it
But marketing says that you do
Try this. Consume. Buy one, get two
We’ve added vitamin C and amazingly it’s also gluten free
And one of your 5-a-day! It’s new and good for you
Biology says you’re an intelligent species
But marketing says you’re a fool
Try this. Consume. Buy one, get two
It’s stuff you adore so go down to the store
And buy more and buy more, it’s one of your 5-a-day

Words and music by Den Miller
Copyright (C) 2015 Den Miller